after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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