hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
