What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
