I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
