I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
