Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
