I need help removing her.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
