they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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