shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
