I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
there's paper in my vomit.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
FUCK WHALES
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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