My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
