remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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