under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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