did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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