You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
