you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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