there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
