Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
