I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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