were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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