went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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