Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
