I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
