Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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