Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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