This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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