i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
