He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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