so explain again why im purple
no
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He passed out mid-signature
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
