We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
