i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
