Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
