omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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