you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dicks are not precious.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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