We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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