yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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