ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
