i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
