honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
