haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize