i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
