My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
