your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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