I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
