Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
