I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
