He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize