I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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