I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
