new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
