is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
