Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
