I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
