I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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