You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
your room smells of hookers.
And success
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
where am i from again
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
