You made me cry and you don't even care
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't deserve a penis
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
